Love change, it is your forever friend

Change is a concept that triggers mixed feelings.

At the outset, change appears to be something that we love - “I get bored of the same things”, “A change of scenery will be nice”. But, we seem to be afraid of that as well. We like things to be predictable and for all things to follow a pattern.

The predictability cajoles us into “settling down”, to tone down the excitement, and thereby think that our long term survival is guaranteed in an environment that we have survived so far. The humdrum of existence is largely welcomed, while we think that we know all there is to learn, we have done all there is to do, and have an overall satisfaction that this is the best or worst life can offer.

There are multiple reasons for us not liking change, but two stand out:

1. Fear

Fear is one of our constant companions in life. Fear also makes many a person resist change due to unpredictable nature inherent to the change. The resistance may be because of many reasons, and the manifestation of fear gives raise to many doubts.

The following questions are most likely to haunt the mind:

• “Will I survive the change?”
• “What happens if I fail?”
• “Why take the risk?”
• “How much suffering will I, or people dependent on me undergo because of this?”
• “Will others think I am a fool to go for it?”

This interplay of fear and change significantly influence the way we live life:

• fear at work
  • “I am going to be a failure and I am made obsolete because my position is replaced by a computer”
  • “the technology is replaced by something else”
  • “the way I work is completely changed and I am no more the expert”
• fear in personal life
  • “I am no more required since kids have grown up”
  • “I am not loved anymore since my sister is smarter”

We assume a false security in today’s state

• “I am really good at my job, and that is all there is to it”
• “The company cannot really afford to go through this expensive change”
• “I am absolutely required by my children since they are better off with my guidance”

Going deeper, fear works with complacence to equip us with a custom-made lens to see the world. This lens is going to assure us that the initiator of change, the change doer or a recent influence is evil.

• “The shiny new technology is just a fad, it will never work”. “Computers can never replace people, and such an exercise can never succeed”
• “Recent friends of my kids are a bad influence, and are most likely causing them to not love me in the same way”

The thought process becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy, and seriously gets out of control unless acted upon.

2. Guilt

Guilt can give all the negative things that one needs for a lifetime, and then some. Guilt can also make it difficult to wholeheartedly welcome the change. Taking our earlier examples, this can be in the form of:

• How can I leave the people who trust me?"
• “How can I leave the company that looked after me for 10 years”
• “My close friend joined the team because of me, how can I ever go out?"
• “I can blame only myself since my advice was not strong enough to persuade others”

Guilt becomes a strong enough factor that discourages us from going for the change until it is too late.

Overcome your fear, kick that guilt out

Change is what makes life interesting. Embrace the change before you get into a deadly embrace of its shadier friend who follows the change. No matter how long you have been in the current state, no matter how deep you are entrenched right here right now, change is your saviour. Offer the most welcoming path to change, and you find your path laid out smoother than it looked before the change.

But at the same time, let us be clear. There is going to be an impact of change, and it will not always be positive. But treating change as a friend immensely helps in sailing through the negatives, and deriving the maximum benefits off the positives.

Conclude all ready

Love and embrace that change - you will come out all better.